Happy Diwala

It's six bloody thirty in the morning on a holiday and I am on the pc! Am already Pissd having missed Russell Peters' show lastnight and some idiot won't let me sleep over it. The dude's in super diwali mood and has been bursting crackers since an hour. Ain't bursting crackers between 2200-0600hrs banned? Why don't the cops do their bit?

Makes me wonder whose so damn excited about Diwali this freaking year. Everyone's wealth has been eroded thanks to the stock market. Not even the Ambanis or the Mittals have escaped the rout; and Iceland has gone bust! The recession all over the globe has just begun and some rascal is wasting his precious money bursting crackers! Moron.

The wife's enjoying her sleep oblivious to evils of the world. Bless her, she doesn't know shit about the stock markets. I'm jealous. And broke... Happy(ya,rite!!) Diwali.

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Festive Blues

It's the most festive time of the year for us Indians all over the world. Diwali will be celebrated with much aplomb and gaiety. But personally for me it's the most irritating time of the year.

Imagine a wonderfully lazy Sunday morning when a man should just chill at home and do a man's thing - nothing. That's all a man wants. But how can a woman see a man relax. Come Diwali and the mother and wife yell in unison to clear all the mess I have made during the year. I think this ritual is far more important than the Laxmi Pooja. My two very precious sundays have been wasted cleaning and dusting all the cupboards and my belongings. What's with these maniacial women? Why can't they simply do it on their own?

Weight Woes
Since it's the festive season, quite understandably you get to gorge on all the crappy stuff to eat. I simply love the sweets and the Gujju farsans and can stuff it in day and night. But one nasty look from the wife and you know that you will have to burn off the extra calories. This bloody reminds me that my Gold's Gym membership card is gathering more cobwebs than the cupboards the wife made me clean.

My alibi during the monsoons was that it was impossible to walk to the gym is Bombay's unpredictable rains. Its been a month since the monsoons have left almost all parts of the country and I still haven't made an effort to get out of the bed. The wife pesters me everyday to hit the gym but a man with strong will never budges to the whims of a woman. Am waiting for the winters to make my next excuse. Till then please help me think of one.

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