The Indian Sports Drama

For once I agree with the India's stand on the sportsmen that represent her on an international level. The Sports Ministry has decided to bar athletes holding foreign passports from representing the country. The Ministry's rational is that it would create a level playing field for the local talent!

We are a country driven by knowlegde and it's only fair that we produce intellectuals and businessmen. Sports do not deserve any spot in our society. We have a world class cricket team so let's just stop there. Why do we want an Indian contingent for the Olympics? Why do we want some overseas based Indians to represent us? Why do these NRIs want to represent India in the first place? 

It is a known fact that the Sports Ministry officials undertake foreign holidays in the guise of work commitments at our expense. I bet the only 'sport' the Sports Minister must have ever played is a round of teen patti. Curse that idiot, cause had he learned bridge or poker atleast he could have played some money spinning tournments.

The Sports Ministry wants to create a level playing field by barring Indians holding foreign passports a chance to represent India. Why?? Simply because these sportsmen get the best of facilities and are trained by coaches of international level. Unlike a sportsman based and trained in India, these sportsmen don't have to stay in dorms that have no beds but only torn mattresses; and they don't have to use toilets that overflow and bathrooms that have no water supply. All these facilities (or the lack of them) are character building exercises. It's a must for every Indian sportsman (barring cricketers) representing India to go through the entire process. And if the sportsman still has the will to represent this great country, he gets rewarded by a trip to an international event accompanied by a over-sized contingent of officials on holiday.

I feel the Sports Ministry should strip Olympic gold medallist shooter, Abhinav Bindra off his medal cause he had an unfair advantage over the other Indian shooters. His daddy is Mr Moneybags and the dude had the best of the facilities and training at his home in Delhi. Didn't he know that he had to go through the rind to eat the sweet fruit of representing India? Strip the cheat off his medal, I say.

Davis Cupper Prakash Amritraj and Ankur Poseria, Indian swimmer holding US passport, have cried enough cause they cannot represent India. It's time to introspect guys. Give up the damn sport and set up an industry in Gujarat. Narendra Modi awaits you with open arms...

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Screw the Politician

Is a 100km human chain across the length of Bombay the best method to curb the lackadaisical attitude of our politicians? Or is a congregation of a hundred thousand people at the Gateway of India enough to bring in some accountability in the system?

What have politicians done for us to deserve the privileges they currently have? I have been voting since 11 yrs in all the elections that took place but have not seen any action from either the local corporator or the MLA. PMs of our country are busy answering either to their allies or to their Italian madams. Presidents here don’t get another term in office simply cause they are clean, unbiased and intellectuals; instead these honest people are replaced by morons who are too dumb to be respected by their own children let alone the citizens of our country.

It pisses me off whenever I see a politician or bureaucrat halts the already crawling traffic of Bombay just so that his car passes by. Why are such privileges given to these bastards when they don’t even do their job? Why are politicians not security checked at airports? I bet they carry loads of black money and quite possibly a firearm too.

Instead of making a strong statement against the terrorists that waged war in Bombay last month or the country harbouring these terrorists, our politicians are bickering over the killing of ATS chief. I bet Hemant Karkare died a bigger death after his death was politicized by Antulay in the Parliament. All the strong statements have come from Barrack Obama and Ratan Tata while our politicians are busy with their own civil war in the Parliament.

The ‘best’ India has managed in our fight against terror is to get JuD banned by the UN. Gimme a break. Isn’t SIMI a banned outfit? Doesn’t SIMI still operate freely? Wasn’t SIMI blamed for the blasts in Ahmedabad recently? Who are you fooling, Manmohan Singh? The only way to ban a militant outfit is to BOMB it. Isn’t that what Bush did to the Taliban?

Politicians have already sold India, next probably are their mothers. 

Cartoons by Manjul

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Workaholics Suck

The workaholics are so damn passionate about their work that they don't realise when to stop. I tend to stay away from these diseased people. Unfortunately, these are the people who rake in all the moolah. Our sportsmen fall in this category. Especially cricketers. Look at Kapil Dev. A brilliant all-rounder who kept dragging his career to beat Richard Hadlee's bowling record. Towards the end of his carreer, the entire world pleaded with him to stop but the determined man kept on going. The same applies to our recent crop of oldies in the side.

I don't know why Anil Kumble thought it was necessary for him to hang around like a grandfather clock. He hadn't got the wickets or the fitness. But he had the most lethal weapon - the captaincy. Kumble probably thought he could amass 100 more wickets and catch up with Shane Warne and Murlitharan. Wishful thinking buddy! I bet he would not have hung his boots had he not been injured.

Laxman shows his brilliance in one match and ensures that the board keep paying his salary for the next ten matches. He is too old to run to the loo in case of an emergency, so how does one expect him to run on-field?

Whats wrong with Rahul Dravid? After loosing the captaincy, Rahul's been batting like a baby. He's averaged 18runs in the last 19 innings! Not only batting, Rahul's fielding is appalling. The way he's been dropping catches, it seems the matches are fixed! Dravid's lost his touch and his confidence. Now it's time to loose his seat on the team bus. How long can he continue to live on his goodwill. Tailenders like Ishant Sharma & Harbhajan Singh have been consistently scoring more than him! Call it a day, pal. I know we were nearing a recessionary phase and you need the job, but its high time you stopped traumatising us with your pitiful batting.

I would award the Biggest Ass of the Year Award to Sourav Ganguly. He went against the tide and announced his retirement at a time when he was actually contributing to the team's cause! Watta ass. Dada may have had enough but his performance and attitude till his last match has put to shame all the ex-cricketers.

It's an unwritten rule in India's sportscircle that you make hay while the sun shines and never quit; you get thrown out. Dada, look at your peers and reconsider the decision.

Ok, I am tired of writing so much tripe, so will continue about the second category sometime later.

Ps: Dada thanks for the memories. Dravid, the way your currently performing, I wonder what memories you'll leave behind!

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Boycott Pakis

It’s safe to assume by now that every individual residing in Pakistan is directly or indirectly controlled by their intelligence service, ISI. After last month’s terror attacks in Bombay, Pakistan had declared that the ISI chief would visit India for a dialogue because that’s what we Indians do best, just talk. In a couple of hours Pakistan did a u-turn; it said a director would be sent and that India had misunderstood the earlier statement.

It’s quite evident that the ISI dictated the government to retract its statement. The democratic government in Pakistan is just a puppet in the hands of the ISI and the military. The army had set up the democracy so that the world recognizes the government and they continue to receive financial aid that may not be possible in a military ruled country.

These financial aids are used to harbour terrorists instead of the betterment of citizens. I seriously feel that all Pakistani artistes across all fields and sportsmen be banned from India. I am not saying that these artistes and sportsmen are harbingers of terror in our country but the money they earn from India somehow finds its way to terrorism to back stab us. Huh? They obviously pay taxes to the ISI backed government, don’t they?

As much as I love listening to the Atif Aslams and Rahat Fateh Ali Khans, as much as I love to see Afridi bat, I think these people earning off us has to stop. And stop NOW. I still regard Wasim Akram as the best damn left arm pacer of all times, but it’s time now that he makes a living in his own country.

Talent shows can do without these artistes. TV shows don’t become successes because a couple of contestants are from across a terrorist country. But terrorism definitely is succeeding because of our love towards their artistes.

Indo-Pak cricket matches and all sporting events have to stop right away. And for the betterment of all, why only India, all countries should boycott events with Pakistan. After all, weren't Americans, Israelis and Britishers killed in the Bombay attacks.

And if Mahesh Bhatt thinks otherwise, I seriously suggest we deport him to Pakistan and let him make his crappy movies there.

Article in a leading Pakistani English newspaper, Dawn by a pakistani, Irfan Hussain seconds my views. Well, almost.
Links for the article as it appeared in Hindustan Times, Bombay edition of 10/12/2008:
Page 1 & Page 2

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Letter to the PM

I received an email today stating that the following letter had been written by the editor of Times of India, Bombay edition. I doubt that but the content of the letter is indicative of the mood of every citizen of Bombay irrespective of our religion or caste. Here it goes:

--

Dear Mr. Prime minister

I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at least squeak but we don't even do that.

Today I heard your speech. In which you said 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bolywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on this unfortunate people of India.

Enough is enough. As such after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys I realize that if same thing continues days are not away when terrorist will attack by air, destroy our nuclear reactor and there will be one more Hiroshima.

We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You promised Mumbaikar Shanghai what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug.

Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn't it?

I am born and bought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe me corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar. Look at all the politician, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, Bal Thackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are rolling in money. Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief minister I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day, make money and send it to Delhi so Congress can fight next election. Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fisherman so they can build concrete house right on sea shore. Next time terrorist can comfortably live in those house , enjoy the beauty of sea and then attack the Mumbai at their will.

Recently I had to purchase house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI you and your finance minister are not aware of it. Where all the black money goes? To the underworld isn't it? Our politicians take help of these goondas to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time please come to me, I will tell you everything.

If this has been land of fools, idiots then I would not have ever cared to write you this letter. Just see the tragedy, on one side we are reaching moon, people are so intelligent and on other side you politician has converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian Schedule caste, Creamy Schedule caste only what I am not is INDIAN. You politician have raped every part of mother India by your policy of divide and rule.

Take example of former president Abdul Kalam. Such a intelligent person, such a fine human being. You politician didn't even spare him. Your party along with opposition joined the hands, because politician feels they are supreme and there is no place for good person.

Dear Mr Prime minister you are one of the most intelligent person, most learned person. Just wake up, be a real SARDAR. First and foremost expose all selfish politician. Ask Swiss bank to give name of all Indian account holder. Give reins of CBI to independent agency. Let them find wolf among us. There will be political upheaval but that will better than dance of death which we are witnessing every day. Just give us ambient where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law. Everything else will be taken care of.

Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one person or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people?

Prakash B. Bajaj

Chandralok 'A" Wing, Flat No 104

97 Nepean Sea Road

Mumbai 400 036

Phone 98210-71194

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Mr Bajaj is certainly not the editor of any newspaper but a really Pissd individual. And he's not alone.

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Spirit of Bombay

It's the Spirit of Bombay that is ruining our lives. Ya, the undying spirit. The spirit that keeps us going despite all odds. The spirit that saw us through the riots of 1992, the serial blasts in 1993, the 26/7 Bombay floods and the train blasts. But it's now this spirit that is being used by the unscrupulous politicians, simply because everyone around the globe knows come what may Bombay will rise. And rise higher.

The recent terror war on Bombay has finally woken up the citizens. But for how long? Today over a hundred thousand people gathered at the Gateway of India to protest against the callous attitude of the politicians. Protesting aint gonna help our cause people. Never did, never will. It's high time we acted.

If a bastard thinks the life of innocent people is a DDLJ and that such 'small incidents occur in big cities' let us enter his house and lynch him to death and really prove him right that such small incidents indeed happen in big cities.

How many of us respect Pratibha Patil? Not me. And certainly not the armed forces. Still as a matter of duty our armed forces are answerable to her. She's a President who is a mere puppet in the hand of the only man in Congress - Sonia Gandhi. Mrs Patil knows nothing about the security of the nation to command these brave soldiers. But what she knows thoroughly well is how to holiday in Indonesia while the nation is under attack. After her holiday she came to meet the victims of the terror in Bombay. Not only did her presence ruin the traffic situation but the patients at the civic hospitals she visited were neglected for her security. Nurses waited for an hour at JJ Hospital to serve dinner to the victims simply cause Pratibha Patil would not move her arse out of the hospital. Bitch.

These politicians have been ridiculing our martyred soldiers and policemen. First it was by the way of providing sub-standard equipment and planes. Then, ATS Chief Hemant Karkare was labelled a crook by these politicians, but post 26/11 all political parties want to cash in on his death by writing paeans of his bravery all over the city. And now, by saying that a even a dog would not visit a soldier's house. An illiterate politician gets away by chiding a soldier while his colleagues are protecting the politician's life by laying theirs on line. Enough is enough.

Why must politicians live in the luxury of Honda Citys when the money can be spent on better equipment for defence? Why must politicians have the right of way on the road? Why deploy commandoes to protect politicians and babus? Why keep Afzal Guru's file on hold indefinitely instead of hanging him? Why must a blood thirsty terrorist like Kasab get a fair trial?

Why must the Spirit of Bombay become so evident that the politicians use it to their gain? It is high time we stop paying with our lives for the fancies of these jerks. It's time for the real Rang De Basanti.

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