Friday, March 13, 2009

Marksheet Mayhem

Testing times are upon us. While the grown-ups are fighting the test against the recession, students are facing the most treaded time of the year - exam time. 

I fail to understand why parents presurize their kids to score good grades.  When I was in school my report card looked like a bloodbath. Red lines highlighted my disappointing performance in Hindi language. For a couple of terms, I took the mother for a ride by telling them that I had excelled in Hindi. They could not believe their ears and I could not believe the poor mother fell for it! She finally flipped the report card and read the key. All verbal communication stopped and thrashings began.

Why the fuss about getting grades? Even if you somehow manage to score well, the stupid reservation will get you. And anyways, most geniuses of our times are dropouts or were losers in the classroom. Take Sachin Tendulkar, Bill Gates, Paul Allen, Mukesh Ambani, Richard Branson, Albert Einstein and ofcourse your's truly. 

Some may disagree with the last name on the list but then genius is seldom recognised in its lifetime.


Monday, March 9, 2009

Hell Hath No Fury…

Am back. The wife did not kill me for the pathetic gifts I gave her for her birthday because she was so damn busy taking people’s wishes over the phone. I have never thanked Alexander Graham Bell so much as much as I did on the wife’s birthday. Every time she attempted to open the gift I gave her, the phone rang, saving me the blushes and the curses. :-D

The birthday passed off smoothly and I survived to fight another day. Little did I realize that the ‘another day’ would be the next day. The wife caught my gaffe and gave me a earful when she saw her gifts at peace. Since then I have been avoiding her like the plague.

Just when things were returning back to normal, Women’s day hit me. I don’t understand the fuss & the relevance of this day. The last time I checked women got their way for 364days in a year. The one day that was left, they wanted to hurt the already flagging male ego so they rechristened it to Women’s day! Don't believe me, ask Manmohan Singh about his feelings for his Italian Madam. 

The wife thinks she deserves a gift simply because it’s Women’s day! I protested. I want a damn gift simply because there is no Man’s Day. I got a lecture and the ear still hurts. 

Curse Hallmark & Archies for promoting this totally worthless day. I demand a Man’s Day. Or if I am asking for too much, I demand a damn Man’s Hour. Oh hell, I demand an ENT, the ear hurts. Is the wife listening???

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