HELP

Why is that one's special day becomes other's death bed? The wife turns a year older this coming Sunday and I am dreading every gone second. I haven't bought a damn gift for her. Oh hell, forget buying I bloody haven't even thought of the gift!

I don't really know what to get her. I have got to be the worst guy at gifting anyone for any occassion. I dated the wife for four years before we got married, and she should have known that. But NO, she expects me to get the world for her on this birthday itself! I wonder what will I get her next year then. Crap, I forgot, I have the entire list from this year's demand since I don't think I'll land up getting her anything.

I asked her in the morning what she wanted for her birthday. At first, she threw a fit. Then she realised being the pain that I am, I won't get her anything. She then rattled a list of things she wants and curse me, I didn't listen to her cause I was reading the newspaper! Is it my fault that she mistimes her verbal onslaught of THE list?

To cut the crap short, I need help. Someone please tell me what should I gift her? Please write your suggestions in the Comments section else mail me.

I remember the wife telling me that she wanted a surprise.Aint that funny! Think I'll surprise her by not wishing her. Haha... On second thoughts, I think she might surprise me by getting a restraining order barring me to come within 100metres of her.

Someone HELP. Everyone HELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

ps: Please remember we are moving from recession to depression, suggestions within Rs1000 preferably.