IPL: Incredibly Phatak Ladies

A heat wave swept Bangalore, Karnataka on 18th April, 2008. A lavish opening ceremony commenced the much awaited Indian Premier League sponsored by the real-estate giant,DLF. The tournament was touted to be the next best thing after Baywatch to hit television screens. Eight teams were formed and a shit load of cash was spent on their branding and hype.

The tournament kick-started with Shah Rukh Khan’s Kolkata Knight Riders taking on Vijay Mallya’s Royal Challengers. Though the Royal Challengers lost the match without a fight they found themselves a supporter. A loyal supporter in yours truly. The Bangalore team has THE best cheerleaders. I don’t care about the lousy cricket on offer, it’s the Washington Redskins that have roped in all the eyeballs. Ain’t that true, boys?

One team that started off badly was Rajasthan Royals. Lost their first match and did nothing to win fans. Shane Warne transformed them into a formidable side and the owners Emerging Media group got some real hot cheerleaders. God bless Emerging Media.

I personally feel that SRK’s team will be the first to post profits given the lovely branding he’s upto. BUT someone please shoot his lousy designer. Has anyone been able to decipher the clothes worn by his cheerleaders? To compensate for the cheerleaders, SRK's wife Gauri dresses up as one. The authorities should keep her off the ground cause she looks more like a fearleader. But are the lazy Kolkattans complaining?

Mumbai Indians. The less said the better. The MI team just found its element in the last couple of games. With Shaun Pollock as captain they are faring better but certainly Mr. Ambani could have picked a better side had he visited Oval Maidan once.
And he could have picked better cheerleaders had he hired the unemployed bar dancers. Wondering if the MI cheerleaders are competing with their counterparts from Kolkata. Let the true champion of morality, Mr RR Patil (Dy. CM of Maharashtra) judge this ugly competition.

As a owner I think Preity Zinta has done a wonderful job with her team, Kings XI Punjab. She’s making both the genders happy. The wife loves Brett Lee and Shaun Marsh. And Priety has replaced her old cheerleaders simply cause they weren't hot enough. PZ, I love you.

The Chennai Super Kings started with a bang, lost its way in the middle and are now bouncing back. My piss off is the ugly bunch of cheerleaders that accompany the team. Couldn't Dhoni use his Midas Touch to turn them into something meaningful. Mr Patil, please make a note of these beauties you will be judging.

IPL should blacklist GMR, the owners of the Delhi Daredevils for making irresponsible comments like banning their cheerleaders from all future matches they play.

The Deccan Chargers have a wonderful team and a gorgeous set of cheerleaders to boast of. But they have no public support. They have been consistently losing matches and the cheerleaders chose to cover up. :-(

I am praying that all matches played now onwards be between the Rajasthan Royals & the Royal Challengers. And that each ball crosses the boundary rope. And the cameras only focus on the cheerleaders. ;-)

The only piss-off, the lousy Royal Challengers ain’t hitting enough boundaries and sixes for their cheerleaders to break into a dance. Jump Washington Redskins jump ;-)

Rest in peace Baywatch, the IPL Cheerleaders are here. N so is the wife...Oucchhhhhh.