Breaking News

Have you had the misfortune of tuning into our desi news channels? Oops, wrong choice of words. Its more of entertainment and not a misfortune. Our news channels dish out so much of shit that they put to shame the crappy contents of my blog.

The day VHP workers blocked the Western Express Highway in Bombay, I tuned into Aaj Tak to get an update. "Hritik ab nahin nachenge (Hritik Roshan wont dance now)," this is what Aaj Tak was showing in Breaking News. Another news channel had an interview with Shah Rukh Khan. No mention of VHP's show of strength for the Amarnath situation!

Anyways, say what you want these channels work their arse out day and night to provide us entertaining stories such as, Mauth ki guffa, Beti bani dayan, Kariye swarg ke darshan, Khooni pedh ka rahasia, etc

Following are some TV grabs of Breaking News on different news channels. Enjoy!

This one's from Aaj Tak at 0737hrs on a Wednesday morning. The Breaking News reads, "राहुल ने दाल-पूडी और सब्ज़ी खाई" It refers to Rahul Gandhi's meal that comprised of Daal, Pooris and veggies. Some breaking news! Did he drink water?



Breaking News, "अमिताभ बच्चन को ठंड लगी"
Amitabh Bachchan's feeling cold!! The poor man doesn't make enough money, someone please buy him a blanket. And someone please donate a brain to the editor of this channel.


Monday morning 1005hrs, Aaj Tak's Breaking News, "छज्जे पर बिल्लो रानी" Here's one cat that made more news than Halle Berry and her inane movie, Cat Woman. A cat was perched on a ledge. After watching some idiotic humans trying to 'rescue' it for 6hrs, the cat jumped off the ledge. Someone please inform these morons that cats love to perch on heights and can easily survive jumping from considerable heights. Thanks to the India Today group for letting Aaj Tak be a free channel. No one would have paid for it anyway.

29 March 2008, 0902hrs Star News. Breaking News, "दिल्ली: कमीशनर का कुत्ता मिला" Four days after its disappearance, Delhi Commissioner's dog was found. And that became prime time national news! God bless the guy who found the doggy, now Commissionersaab can get back to doing some work. More over Paris Hilton & Raveena Tandon, Mr Commissioner is here.

That's not all. All hell broke loose when India TV reported that aliens have broken into our airspace in their UFO and are abducting our cows! Don't rub your eyes, you read it right. Yes, some aliens are abducting cows and India TV poses some real serious questions. Where do these cows disappear? Do the aliens drink our cows milk? Are cows from India on their hitlist?

Its not the content thats pissing off. Needless to say that it is super entertaining but the fact that appears on a damn news channel is pissing off. The wife tunes into all the so called entertainment channels and I miss out on these treasures of knowledge. If only I had a television of my own. If only wishes were horses...

Pictures contributed by Vineet Jain & Vikram SN